


Gratuitous Bath Scene

by aviatrix8



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Action, Bath Houses, Gen, Humor, Mild Language, Nudity, Peeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4045648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviatrix8/pseuds/aviatrix8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three of the Elite Four (and Iori) are trying to spend a quiet time at the baths... But this is Honnouji Academy, and nothing there is ever quite that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Honnouji Academy  
Student Council  
Private Baths  
(Boys’ Side)

It was a rare moment of relaxation for the male members of Satsuki Kiryuin’s inner circle, inside the baths… Gamagori sat at the taps scrubbing his back, while beside him, Sanageyama was shampooing his hair.

In the bath sat Iori, with his arms resting on the edge of it; a folded up washcloth rested upon his forehead. Beside him was Inumuta, sitting on the edge of the bath, with a towel wrapped around his waist. In his hand, he held his smartphone inside a plastic bag; periodically, he’d swipe the screen with a finger.

All in all, a leisurely moment for the four boys… Which was just about to be shattered, literally.

The far wall suddenly exploded, in a shower of brick and mortar. Through the hole in the wall slid back Lady Satsuki, in full Junketsu Override mode; Ryuko Matoi leapt in after her, in her kamui synchronize mode. Both girls were dueling with their respective blades, and didn’t seem to notice they had somehow wandered into a boys’ bath.

Lady Satsuki then leapt back, shattering the wall on the opposite side. Matoi stamped a stiletto-heeled boot in annoyance.

“Get your ass back here, you bushy-eyebrowed bitch!” she screamed. She rushed through the hole in the wall, after Lady Satsuki.

Meanwhile, Iori came up to gasp for air, after having ducked into the bathwater. He stared at the Elite Three, who had not moved from their respective positions.

“Um… Shouldn’t you guys do something about that?” asked Iori, as he adjusted the washcloth on his forehead.

“Lady Satsuki can handle it,” said Inumuta, without moving his gaze from his phone.

“That’s right, she won’t even break a sweat!” said Sanageyama. He filled up a wooden bucket with water and began rinsing his hair.

Gamagori crossed his arms and nodded sagely in agreement.

Iori shrugged. “I’ll take your word for it.”

The room fell quiet again… Until curious voices filtered through the fresh hole in the wall.

“Where did Lady Satsuki and the new girl run off to?”

“Beats me.”

“Hey look! This hole in the wall leads to the baths! Sweet!”

“Really? Let me see!”

The Student Council (and Iori) suddenly found themselves being stared at by a bunch of way too eager male students.

“Oh, wait. It’s just the boys’ side.”

“Lame. So where did the new girl and Lady Satsuki go?”

“Through this wall! Hurry!”

“All right! Girl-on-girl action is so hot…”

A stampede of horny high school boys ran briefly through the boys’ bath, and out the hole in the wall on the other side.

Silence descended upon the baths again. Until…

“Did someone say this wall led the the boys’ bath?”

The Student Council (and Iori) now found themselves under the enraptured gazes of a horde of far too eager female students, as they stared through the hole in the wall.

“Ooo, look how ripped Gamagori is!”

“Sanageyama is soooo hot!”

“I prefer Inumuta myself. He’s so dreamy…”

“Isn’t Iori cute without his face mask?”

With a yelp, Iori ducked down into the bath until only his eyes were peeking out; Inumuta merely rolled his eyes and continued swiping his smartphone; Sanageyama grinned sheepishly at the gawking fangirls; and Gamagori rose to his full, dramatic height.

“This is a disgrace!” he intoned. “You ladies are not permitted in here! How dare you disturb the sanctity of the Student Council baths!”

As he stood up, the towel that had been sitting in Gamagori’s lap, slipped off and fell to the ground.

There was a chorus of ‘ooooo’s and the sounds of the clicks and flashes of a dozen cellphones, as they were whipped out by the eager schoolgirls.

“Way to flash the female student body, Disciplinary Chair,” commented Inumuta, without looking up; while beside him, Iori buried his face in his palm.

Gamagori looked down at the floor, saw that his towel that had fallen on the floor, and let out a strangled yell. Frantically, he looked around for something to cover himself up with.

“You might want to use that.” With his free hand, Inumuta pointed to something propped up in the corner.

Immediately, Gamagori rushed over and grabbed the huge red block letters that was the entire “Student Council Private Baths” sign and held it in front of him backwards.

“You all should be ashamed of yourselves!” boomed Gamagori, as he blushed furiously. Holding the sign like a riot shield, he began to use it to push the reluctant schoolgirls back through the hole in the wall.

Sanageyama rushed over to help him out. “He’s right! Sorry ladies, but the peep show is over!”

Between the two of them, they managed to shove the fawning fangirls out of the baths, and block the hole with the sign.

“Well, that takes care of that.” Sanageyama dusted off his hands, until he realized Gamagori had disappeared from beside him. He turned around, to notice the huge man sitting crouched at the far side of the room, facing the corner; his back was shaking from sobbing.

“Er…” Sanageyama walked across the room, past Iori and Inumuta (who still looked hadn’t looked up from his phone). As he approached Gamagori, he reached out gingerly and patted him on the back.

“Aw, don’t sweat it, big guy. If you’re hung up on those girls getting a load of your junk, it’s no big deal…”

“Says the guy who the entire student body saw naked,” murmured Inumuta. Beside him, Iori smothered a grin.

“Shove it, Inumuta!” retorted Sanageyama.

“But I wanted my future wife to be the first woman who saw me completely naked…” sobbed Gamagori.

“Considering how many cameras those girls were holding up, your future wife will probably see it anyways,” Inumuta pointed out.

Gamagori sobbed even harder.

“Geez, could you be any more of an asshole?” snapped Sanageyama.

“Oh relax, the both of you.” Inumuta held up his smartphone. “The moment those girls entered the bathroom, I sent out a computer virus that would disable any camera phone within a 50-metre radius. Those girls didn’t snap a single picture.”

“Huh, you’re not a complete dick after all, Inumuta,” said Sanageyama.

“Gee, thanks.”

Gamagori rushed over and gave Inumuta a big bear hug. “Thank you protecting my chastity, Inumuta!”

“Um, yes… Please stop!” snapped Inumuta, who was hanging onto his smartphone for dear life.

“What the hell are you idiots doing?” asked a familiar, discordant voice.

The boys turned, to see Jakuzure glaring at them, her platform boot tapping on the tiled floor.

“Jakuzure!” Gamagori abruptly dropped Inumuta, who looked indignant about it. “How dare you enter the boys’ side of the Student Council baths!”

“It’s not like I wanted to!” retorted Jakuzure, who was shielding her eyes with one hand. She pointed her baton to the blocked up hole in the wall, which still had girls swarming around it. “I was wondering what was up with the drooling fangirls, until I realized you yahoos were still in here. Why aren’t you helping Lady Satsuki fight the new girl?”

“Don’t sweat it, Jakuzure,” said Sanageyama airily. “You know Lady Satsuki can take her on.”

“That’s not the point!” Jakuzure stomped her boot. “We’re the Elite Four; we should be cheering on Lady Satsuki, not sitting in the bathroom wiping our asses!”

“Thank you for that lovely bit of mental imagery,” said Inumuta.

“Blow it out your ass, dog.” She began herding the reluctant rest of the Elite Four towards the changing room. “Now get dressed, all of you!”

The Elite Four left the room, leaving Iori sitting in the bath, all alone.

“Er…” Iori started to stand up, bathwater sloshing off of him. “I suppose I should go now,  too…”

It was at that moment that the sign barring the hole in the wall finally gave way, collapsing into a pile of red block letters.

Iori immediately ducked back into the water, as the bath he was sitting in was suddenly swarmed by eager fangirls, armed with camera phones. He sincerely hoped Inumuta’s virus was still working…

“Um, guys?” said Iori plaintively. “Help?”

Fortunately for Iori, that was just about the same time that Ryuko and Lady Satsuki busted through the remaining bathroom wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuko and Satsuki finally notice the unusual location they’ve been fighting in.

Honnouji Academy  
Student Council  
Private Baths  
(Boys’ Side)

…Well, what’s left of it, anyways.

Ryuko Matoi stood in the crumbling remains of the boys’ baths, completely absorbed in parrying an attack from Lady Satsuki. She only noticed that there was something off about the situation, when she suddenly realized that they weren’t the only two people in the room.

“What’s with the naked blond kid?” asked Ryuko, as she found herself staring at Iori’s extremely flushed face.

Lady Satsuki turned to look at Iori as well, causing the poor boy to blush even harder, as he stood in the remains of the drained bath. The only reason Iori wasn’t completely flashing the girls at the moment, was because he was hiding his shame behind the washcloth he had been holding to his forehead.

Lady Satsuki was not usually one to break her steely composure, but she took in her surroundings, and came to a swift conclusion.

“…Oh.” It was difficult, but the tiniest hint of regret could be detected in her voice.

The door in the last intact wall suddenly burst open, revealing the Elite Four, three of whom clearly didn’t have the chance to get dressed yet.

“Aw, geez!” Ryuko promptly averted her gaze. “Why the hell are all you guys naked?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this is the boys’ bath, Matoi!” growled Gamagori, who had a vein throbbing in his head.

“As if the tiled walls and water taps weren’t a dead giveaway,” added Inumuta, rolling his eyes.

“Boys’ bath…?” said Ryuko slowly. She finally noticed the shattered bath beside her, and the white tiled floors, flooded with water from the leaking tub.

“Wait, if this is the boys’ bath… Then why are there girls all over the place?” she asked suspiciously. Indeed, there were female students lying unconscious all over the floor.

Inumuta pushed up his glasses. “That’s because _somebody_ broke through the walls earlier, while fighting Lady Satsuki, causing the more… Curious female students to wander in. Now, I wonder,  who might that nameless person might be…?”

Ryuko flushed. She knew she shouldn’t feel that bad for wrecking the Student Council’s bath, considering how much of a pain in her ass they’d been, but still… Not to mention, all the male nudity in the room was making her feel far more uncomfortable than she cared to admit.

Reluctantly, Ryuko drew back her scissor blade, and slung it over her shoulder.

“Look, I’m not about to fight a bunch of naked guys; that hardly seems fair, does it?” Ryuko almost sounded convincing, if her eyes weren’t firmly shut against all the rampant male nudity. She then turned to Lady Satsuki. “But next time, I’m handing all of your asses to you on a platter, got it?”

Lady Satsuki sheathed her sword. “Duly noted, Matoi.”

Ryuko hmphed, then walked out of one the holes in the wall with as much dignity as she could muster.

Lady Satsuki watched her leave. “Hmm. I hadn’t expected that to be resolved quite so easily,” she admitted. She then held a hand out towards Iori.

Iori stared at her outstretched hand in bewilderment. Somehow, Lady Satsuki had managed to acquire a towel, which she was handing it to him now.

His face still bright red, Iori took the towel, wrapped it around his waist, then headed straight towards the door to the dressing room. As he walked past the other guys, they could hear him mutter, “It’s times like these I’m glad I’m not technically part of the Student Council…”

Meanwhile, Lady Satsuki had transformed out of Override mode, and stood proudly with her sword held before her. The Elite Four saluted automatically.

“At ease, gentlemen,” said Lady Satsuki calmly, causing Gamagori and Sanageyama to look hurriedly at their feet. She then exited the room out the hole opposite the one Ryuko left from, with Jakuzure trailing behind her eagerly.

With the room now clear of girls (well, conscious ones, at any rate), the guys could now take in the full extent of the wreckage of their bath.

Three of the four walls were completely destroyed, broken pipes were leaking water everywhere, the bath itself was now a pile of shattered tiles, and there were still unconscious female students all over the floor.

Sanageyama ran a hand through his hair.

“Aw man! I don’t think I got to rinse all the shampoo from my hair!”

The blind swordsman sensed the rest of his companions glaring at him.

“What?”

***

Honnouji Academy  
Student Council  
Private Baths  
~~(Girls’ Side)~~  
Boys’ Side

“Lady Satsuki, why are you letting the boys use our baths?” complained Jakuzure.

“To be fair, I was the one who destroyed their bath,” replied Lady Satsuki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as amusing as the first half, I know, but I felt like writing a resolution anyways. ;P

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after seeing a little too much T&A in #kill la kill one day… (I know, that’s like complaining about how the ocean has too much water. ;P) So I wanted to write something that appealed to my personal tastes, LOL.
> 
> I also wanted to write something a little fourth-wall breaking, like the show does (or in this case, propping up the broken wall with a big red sign XP).


End file.
